Wednesday, June 18, 2008

paano mag-suot ng stilettos

a confession: much as i love shoes, di ko kayang mag-suot ng high-heeled shoes na sobrang taas (max height for me is two inches, and chunky ones). lalo na ng mga stilettos. which is really bad, dahil marami sa magagandang sapatos ngayon, ganung style. siguro sabi ng Diyos, maging satisfied na ko sa height ko.

mahina ang sense of balance ko, which is coupled with fear of heights (kahit na matangkad ako). kaya nga kapag me mga hiking sa office teambuilding, lagi akong me buddy na pwede kong hawakan habang pababa o paakyat ng mga bundok. mabagal din akong bumaba sa hagdanan kasi nga takot akong mahulog.

kaya interested ako how people can manage to walk around in really high heels. yung isang friend ko sa graduate school, kaya nyang mag-drive, magshopping at magcover ng rally sa EDSA (journalist kasi sya) ng naka-stilettos. nabasa ko din na merong socialite who shops in "four-inch Pradas". yung mga beauty queens, nakakarampa in those high shoes. bakit ako, hindi?

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isang gabi, me nakasabay ako na couple pauwi.

dahil alam kong sarado na yung bridgeway sa MRT, nag-bus na lang ako pauwi, tapos tatawid na lang ako sa overpass sa guadalupe. sa harapan ko, merong isang couple. yung babae, nakastilettos na sobrang taas, tapos kasama nya yung boyfriend/asawa nya. dahil umiral ang pagiging uzi (usisera) ko, chaka naaliw ako dun sa sapatos nya, pinagmamasdan ko how she walks around in those heels.

nung paakyat sya ng hagdan, di nya sinasayad yung mataas na takong nya dun sa steps. para bang naka-tingkayad sya. so, ganun pala umakyat ng hagdan kapag naka-stilettos, sabi ko sa sarili ko.

nung pababa sya ng hagdanan, napansin ko na nakakapit sya sa boyfriend/asawa nya. ah, so kailangan mo pala ng kakapitan kapag bababa ka ng hagdan at naka-stilettos...

so kapag nag-stilettos ako, kailangang puro paakyat lang ang lakad ko. kasi, wala akong kakapitan kapag pababa na...

Friday, June 13, 2008

habang nagpapalaminate sa national bookstore...

kasama sa mga gawain ko sa opisina ang gumawa ng ID para sa mga reporters namin. that includes scanning the pictures, lay out sa aming press ID form, printing it out at ipalaminate yun.

medyo matagal na yung utang kong ID dun sa bago naming reporter, kaya talagang minadali ko na yung paggawa ng ID nya. kagabi, pinalaminate ko na.

sa national bookstore na matatagpuan sa daan ko pauwi (di ko sasabihin yung branch, kayo na bahalang mag-isip kung san yun...), dun ako usually nagpapalaminate. mukhang napansin na nung taong nagma-man ng laminating station dun ang paglaminate nya ng press ID ng opisina namin, kaya nagtanong sya kung ano ang ginagawa ng opisina namin, with matching kamusta pa kung sino na ang bossing namin (syempre, naging sikat ang ahensyang pinaglilingkuran ko dahil sa NBN na yan). aba, mantakin mo nga naman, intersado pala sya!

dahil nandun na rin ako, naisip ko na iparelaminate yung office ID ko kasi medyo di na maganda yung itsura. kaya tinanong ko sa kanya kung ginagawa din nila yung pagrerelaminate. pinakita ko na din yung ID ko. eto yung conversation namin.

ako: pwede pa bang iparelaminate 'to? (sabay pakita nung ID ko)
mama: pwede pa mam...
ako: sige, next time na lang

mama: ngayon na mam. nandito na kayo e.


(after thinking for awhile, pumayag na ko. habang pineprepare nya yung ID ko...)

mama: mam, kayo ba 'to?
ako: oo

mama (after tumingin sa ID at sa akin): bakit ang tanda nyo dito?

ako (disoriented): kasi matagal na yan
mama (tingin sa kasama nya): okay to a, mas matanda si mam sa picture nya


di ko alam kung gusto nya kong dapat akong maflatter o nagbibiro sya. anyway, after nya ilaminate yung press ID at irelaminate yung ID ko

ako: manong, magkano po lahat?
mama (nagsusulat dun sa form): 12 (yung ID ko) plus 15 (yung press ID). dapat 20 yung 15, pero dahil nagkuwentuhan naman tayo, gagawin ko na lang na 15.

ako: ah okay. thank you po.

mama: welcome. (tapos inentertain na nya yung kasunod ko)


habang nagbabayad ako nung mga pinarelaminate ko, medyo disoriented pa rin ako, dahil siguro di ko ineexpect na makatipid ako o dahil me nagtanong sa akin tungkol sa trabaho ko na isang total stranger (at may alam na sila tungkol sa ahensya namin) o dahil me nangflatter sa akin.

mantakin mo nga naman, nakatipid ako sa pagpapalaminate dahil lang nakapagkuwentuhan ako!

pahabol: skl, me similarity yung mukha nung mama sa lamination station kay andrew wolfe.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

biting the bullet at isang pamatay na linya

for the longest time, gusto ko nang magpagupit.

in fairness naman to my hair (ayush, kinakausap ang buhok!), di naman sya problema. makapal at maganda pa rin sya (methinks i got the good genes, hair-wise). di ko kinailangan magparebond or magpastraight kasi naturally straight ang buhok ko. sa umaga, shampoo at suklay lang, keri na (minsan nga, wala pang suklay hehe!). dahil busy ako, di ko sya nacoconditioner. sabi ko nga, siguro my hair has a life on its own. pinapabayaan ko lang sya at nagkakasundo naman kami.

but for the past few days, parang ambigat na ng aking below the shoulder hair (mahirap din pala ang makapal ang buhok). mej kinukulang na ko sa shampoo ko at minsan ang init ng pakiramdam ng anit ko. tapos ang tindi pa ng init the past few days. tapos it has been almost a year since nagpagupit ako. kaya ayun, nagdecide akong magpagupit.

kaya lang nung nagpunta na ko sa aking friendly salon, sarado na pala sya. nagpunta na kasi yung may-ari (at official manggugupit ko) sa canada. kaya naghanap ako ng bagong stylist.

at nahanap ko sya sa katauhan ni amir. sya yung stylist sa david's salon sa crossing na suki ng pinsan ko, ng mommy nya (tita ko) at nanay ng mommy nya (lola nya). nung saturday, i finally bit the bullet at nagpagupit. eto yung resulta (mej malabo yung pic kasi camera phone lang yung ginamit kong pangkuha). para better yung idea, eto yung before. strangely enough, pareho yung shirt ko sa mga kuhang ito...





from this shot in boac, marinduque (left), my hair is now almost chin length (right). bagay ba?
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recently, kausap ko yung isang friend ko. meron daw syang chatmate na mej gusto syang maging SO. finorward nya sa kin yung isang conversation nila, at sobrang tumatak sa'kin itong linyang ito na sinabit sa kanya ng chatmate nya habang kinukukit sya sa IM kung pumapayag itong friend ko na maging sila:

"i want us to happen..."

ayush no? parang linya sa teleserye o sa pelikula. sabi nga ng kapatid ko nung nabanggit ko itong linya sa kanya, kalevel daw ito ng mga linya sa teleserye tulad ng "our love...it was the best" (celine, maging sino ka man) o kaya ng "i wish i knew how to quit you!" (jack, brokeback mountain).

di ko alam kung kikiligin ako o mandidiri ako nung kinukuwento sa kin yung context na sinabi nung chatmate nya sa kanya yun. sabi ko sa kanya, dapat kiligin ako pero dahil rare ako kiligin these days, the cynic in me takes over at nandidiri ako instead. brutal ko no?

ganun na ba talaga ako ngayon? di na ko marunong kiligin sa mga simpleng bagay? has the cynic in me already took over and that i look at supposedly romantic words/gestures to be corny and contrived?

in short, nagiging sobrang cynical na ba ako tungkol sa pag-ibig?

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

ang yoga sa buhay ko

i've been doing yoga on and off for the past three years. although i would say na di pa talaga ako master kasi may mga asanas (poses) that i still cannot do, i would say na may improvement naman ako. nag-improve ang flexibility and balance ko. i feel calmer and much more relaxed. and i would say that yoga is one of the main reasons i lost weight. pagpawisan ka ba naman ng sobra na pwede mo nang pigain ang shirt mo (at may pawis na lalabas), di ka ba naman pumayat nun!

in my daily life, nakatulog din ang yoga. for example: (pasyensya na po sa spelling at sa aking alternate terms. di ko pa rin ganun kamemorize yung ibang names ng asanas e).

- yung ujjai breathing (contracting your belly muscles and your anus, while putting your tongue at the roof of your mouth and producing a hissing sound as you breathe), nakakatulong sa pagbalance ko sa MRT lalo na kapag maraming tao at wala kang mahawakan. just ensure that your legs can support you (spread them a little bit apart), and prepare for the sudden motions ng MRT (kapag aandar na sya or titigil na), pwede ka nang wag humawak sa handrails. look ma, no hands!

- nakakatulong din yung ujjai breathing to calm yourself, lalo na sa stress ng traffic (i had one gradschool friend try it when we were driving home. nagwork sa kanya) o kaya kapag naiinis ka na sa ginagawa mo o sa kinakausap mo. kamtutinkopit, nakakatulong talaga that you relax and take a deep breath sa mga stressful situations.

- yung mga forward bends (prasaritas) and the side bends, i use it when i clean or do other things sa bahay. kapag me mga winawalis o pinupunasan ako sa mga masisikip or tricky spots, onting luhod at bending, keri na. nakakatulong din sya when lifting and carrying heavy stuff, or when you pick up stuff off the floor and you want to maintain your poise.

- yung meditation part ng yoga, nakakatulong sya when i just want to let my thoughts fly. me mga panahon kasi that i dwell on things, especially on my mistakes. it is liberating that when you let your thoughts fly (usually kapag shavasana or yung nakahiga na kami to rest), and think of random things. it helps me remember things i have/want to do, remember what i want to eat (me time na naisip ko na gusto ko pala ng chicken nuggets sa McDo. weird no?) or figure out stuff that boggles you.

not to mention that after each session, you feel relaxed and rested. ang sarap matulog sa gabi. and that loose and flexed up body (chaka yung weight loss) can't also be beat. ang sarap!

Monday, March 31, 2008

in a rut

since my aunt returned to the states after a month, i've just been listlessly going through my daily existence, just doing things that needs to be done.

there's no joy, no enthusiasm, no excitement. blah.

"di ako masaya. kailangan ko ng inspirasyon. kailangan ko magkaroon ng rason para sumaya" is a frequent line to cubbyhole buddy and officemate mitch for the past few weeks.

my day usually goes this way: wake up, prepare for work, work, have lunch, work some more, go home, have dinner, sleep.

like this blog, i'm in a rut. and despite this blah existence, i do hope things would go better.

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i crave for some excitement. something to make me look forward to waking up everyday.

i miss the old me. the me that wakes up with a smile on my face, despite possible issues and blowups. the me that looks at life with so much enthusiasm and positivity. the me that despite everything, can still find things to smile about.

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don't get me wrong, though. i am thankful for everything i have. i thank Him for my life, for my family, my friends, my job, my things.

i am thankful that i managed to put my sister to college. and she graduated last week.

i am happy that despite the financial difficulties, me and my family is surviving, and surviving really well.

i am glad that there are things and situations that allows me to learn things about life. on how to push myself to the limit. on how my mistakes made me what i am.

i am thankful for the everyday that i get to learn about life and the things that can make me a better person.

but, i am in search for something exciting. something that can make going through life great again. something that can make me bolt out of bed, walk around the office whistling, make me excited for the next day.

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i try not to be pulled down by all the negativity. things happening to people and institutions around me. controversies and intrigues that we face almost everyday here at the office. the defeated and defeatist attitudes of most people.

and i feel that these issues are getting to me. i find myself being eaten up by all the negativity.

the patch adams in me is slowly being eaten away. and i don't like the feeling.

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on a lighter note, congratulations are in order for jennifer for passing the bar exams. yehey, me abugado na kami sa block!

Thursday, February 14, 2008

i *heart*....

scanning entries from my former blog, i found out that i traditionally have a blog entry during these days: my blog's anniversary, christmas, my birthday and valentines' day.

since i don't have much to share during these times (romantic relationships-wise), lemme share you some of my loves:

i *heart*

1. shoes. when i started earning my own keep, i realized my inner carrie bradshaw. i loove shoe shopping (thankfully, a few stores carry my shoe size). i have this habit of looking at people's shoes. my comments to people are usually, "ang ganda ng sapatos mo!". i'm not a compulsive buyers--otherwise, i might turn into an imelda marcos!

2. psychedelic shades. i love eyewear, especially shades. i especially love them when they come in colors other than black or brown--i have them in blue, yellow and pink, and i plan to buy them in green. or in any shade that is not really normal.

3. vietnamese food. that's why i miss palawan sooo much. imagine getting a chao long (noodle stew) for less than PhP100. or that super delish coffee shake? or that french bread? sheesh...put me in a plane to palawan!

4. reading and writing. if i only got the time and the real talent like the people in my blog links, it'll be great. and if i can only get the time and the money to really invest in books, i'll be one happy clam.

5. lazing around the house. may it be sleeping, watching television, texting or just reading, i am at my element with lying on my back, flipping through channels or pages, exercising my thumbs or just snoozing. i am a homebody, a couch potato and damned proud of it! these days, i rarely get to do that, though...

6. breaking a sweat. i know, #3 and this one are contradiction of terms. but doing aerodance, or yoga (or recently, jogging around ultra) gives me that adrenaline high and that light feeling. and my clothes show it. yee-haw!

7. my family. even if we usually disagree on several things (i am fiercely independent, they want me to check in every now and then, for instance), but i'll do anything for them. as in!

8. getting something done. and not giving up. may it be a gradschool paper, a press release for work or a challenging puzzle, that sense of achievement can't be beat.

9. surprising people. i have this wicked sense of surprising people with something i know or something i can do. especially if it shows how strong, smart and fiercely independent i can be. magbuhat ng tubig sa dispenser? kayang kaya!

10. you reading my entry. and telling me what you *heart* what'cha waiting for? tell me what you love!

happy valentines' day everyone--with or without a special someone. you get what i mean.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

missing palawan


i wrote this for an inter-office magazine. methinks it won't get published, so i'll post it here. note that some of the places may not be around, or the prices may have gone up. for the past few days i find myself reminiscing about my NGO days in palawan. merry christmas to all!

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(photo from travelphilippines website)

A visit to Palawan starts as a visual treat as the plane hovers aboard islands surrounded by crystal-clear blue water. It then becomes a cornucopia of sights, smells, tastes and feels of the island considered as the last frontier. It is wrapped in a mantel of rainforests, outstanding dive sites, majestic mountains, primeval caves, and pristine beaches. It is surrounded by a coral shelf that abounds with varied and colorful marine life. It is home to two of the United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization (UNESCO)-declared World Heritage Sites.

This is how many tourist websites have been advertising the province, but as an NGO worker assigned there for months at a time, Palawan offered more than that. For this writer, Palawan is home to the best island-hopping sites, the best seafood and Vietnamese food this side of the country and the most culturally diverse province in the country.

There are many unexplored and undeveloped beaches, apart from the famous Honda Bay, Amanpulo Island and the infamous Dos Palmas in Puerto Princesa City, and those found in El Nido and Coron. Some beaches I liked were Debutuna’ay in Busuanga and the Coco Loco Beach Resort in Roxas municipality—white sands, blue-green waters and cheap rates. Palawan is actually chock-a-block with resorts and unspoiled beaches. If diving is your thing, there is the UNESCO World Heritage Site Tubbataha Reef in Cagayancillo, home to over a thousand species of corals, marine animals and plant life. Another good diving spot is Coron, where one can see sunken World War II ships along with the exotic flora and fauna. Diving fees range from around PhP5,000-10,000, depending on the area, the time and length of the dive. (photo at right from the Department of Tourism website)

For busy folks like this writer, there is island hopping. Rent a boat for around PhP800-1,200 and you can roam around Starfish, Snake, Luli (“lulubog, lilitaw”, since its appearance depends on the tide) and other islands at Honda Bay, as well as the Y Beach and Siete Picados in Coron. In Coron, too, would you get to visit Makinit Hot Springs, a nature marvel because it has salt water and considered to heal many bone and joint ailments. Another is UNESCO World Heritage Site, the St. Paul’s Subterranean National Park, or the Underground River.

On land, Palawan does not disappoint. For nature lovers, a visit to the Puerto Princesa’s Butterfly Garden, Crocodile Farm and Calauit Sanctuary in Busuanga allows you to see the island’s beautiful and unique plant and animal. Damage: around PhP100-800, depending on the area and how much you want to see.

After a tiring day of water and land adventures, food next comes to mind. Highly recommended seafood restaurants are Ka Lui and Balinsasayaw, both located in Puerto Princesa, where fresh seafood are served along with sumptuous fruits, good company and great ambience. Actually, seafood specialties can be found everywhere in the island, cooked fresh from the sea. Seafood restaurants charge around PhP200 for a meal, but trust me, it is well worth it.

Because Palawan became one of the destinations of the Vietnamese boat people who fled their country, it is not surprising that their culture were also integrated even in the food. Streets are teeming with chao long (noodle stew) places, serving great Vietnamese noodle stew and other dishes better tasting and way cheaper than Manila’s. A bowl of chao long (around PhP35) with garlic French bread (trivia: Vietnam was a French colony thus the transfer of cooking know-how), and coffee shake completes my Palawan visit. For a bit of culture along with good Vietnamese food, one should visit Viet Ville in Puerto Princesa. This village is home to several Vietnamese settlers who decided to stay in the country, purchased by the Catholic Church as a gift/aid to the Vietnamese settlers. After feasting on good Vietnamese noodles and other specialties, go visit homes making rice noodles and French bread (for sale), along with handicrafts and other items. My relatives usually compel me to bring a box of French bread (around PhP5/piece) and rice noodles (around PhP50-100/kilo) when I go home. Speaking of pasalubongs, they also have good cashew nuts, dried seafood, jewelry and handicrafts guaranteed to be appreciated by the receiver. (viet-ville pix from bambua-palawan website)

If seafood and Vietnamese food is not your thing, there is the chicken place in Palawan called Chicken Inato, which serves good chicken inasal, and Dang Maria’s, which serves a fusion of Filipino and Italian dishes. The pizza junkie in me totally adored their vegetarian pizza.

The island is also home to a diverse mix of people, from natives called Pala’wan, tribal people and settlers from around the country. All offer their unique brand of dialects and culture, but everyone can converse in Tagalog/Filipino (declared as their common language), as well as a dialect called Cuyunin (some words I got to understand and use working there) and smattering of their own dialects. I had a great time with these people and experiencing their culture, dreams and character in a land unique and exciting.

Palawan truly offers a diverse experience of sea, land and culture. Natives always talk of the so-called “come back curse”—once you were there, you have to come back once again. With an island like Palawan, who thought curses are always bad?

Monday, December 3, 2007

working hard for the moolah

one of the banes in a government employee's existence (apart from the not so good salaries and office politics) is being asked to attend budget hearings, where we serve as backstop or technical assistants to our head of agency, at the same time being a tiring and mind-numbing job we do while sitting.

this usually happens after july 30 of every year, where our chief executive passes the general appropriations act (or GAA) for the perusal and subsequent approval of both houses of the legislature--because they are mandated by the constitution to have the control over the country's budget.

formal meaning: your big boss comes in and defends the budget for your agency, justifying why you need to have this much money, what have you done with the money given to you the previous year, etc. informally, the head of agency gets to be subjected to questions not really related to the budget. since EO 464 mandates that heads of agencies have to seek the palace's clearance before appearing before the legislature, budget hearings become a venue for legislators to ask the questions they are dying to ask these big bosses. especially if your agency is "controversial". you know what i mean.

i should know, because for the past two years, i've been there.

in my agency's case, we do not just attend these hearings once, but twice. one for our own budget, and the other for the macroeconomic assumptions (or macro assumptions) with other agencies which makes up the government's economic team.

the macro assumptions is actually the start of the budget hearing season, as it gives legislators the overview of the budget--how much will be spent, how will it be financed, where will the bulk of the budget go, among others. it also features presentations on the country' economic situation-- like the overall economic growth, the state of the country's key sectors and other economic indicators, and the revenue situation--basically, how much the government getting as revenues and stuff. after these presentations, legislators take turns in asking the heads of agencies to clarify points and other concerns.

sometimes, these questions are not usually related to the budget. these are the questions i was referring to above related to the informal definitions.

whenever the house, the econ team and the agency goes to the panel twice--first, to the committee level (in our case, the committee on finance or appropriations) and then to the plenary of the said house (where the sponsoring congressman or senator ends up answering the questions posed to him by his/her fellow legislators). and whatever the committee or the plenary level, this means for any government employee a lot of wasted time waiting and waiting and more waiting.

to prepare for these hearings, i usually have a jacket to ward off the cold, a bottle of water, some snacks (usually candies/gum and cookies) and a stack of work-related stuff or gradschool readings to keep me awake (and sane). some of my officemates have a laptop to either serve as repository of needed information and (if the hall is wi-fi ready), check their office email to receive or send urgent outputs. a gradschool professor told me she has stacks of exams and papers to grade while these hearings go on. some of us have thick novels to read. anything to ensure that each of us are awake and ready to give the needed information to our bosses.

for this year, the macro assumptions hearings at the committee level of both the house and the senate took two days each (yep, you read that right--two days). the same number of days applied for the plenary level (including the sponsorship speech). for the agency, methinks it took us one day (i'm not that sure, because i was asked to do something else during the plenary hearing at the house).

at the house for the macro hearing, we start at 9am, and end at around 7pm, with a break for lunch. good thing the committee was nice enough to provide people with snacks and coffee (believe me, waiting+awfully cold committee halls=extreme sleepiness). because congressmen are more numerous than senators, these hearings can go on even during the plenary sessions (as long as the committee chair is present). those who would like to come in and ask questions are welcome to enter these hearings, ask their questions and leave. some of them come back if they want to ask more. usually, our prayers during these times range from sana wala nang dumating na congressman to Lord, sana hinaan yung aircon to please, Lord, sana matumbok na nya yung tanong nya.

and because these congressmen represent congressional districts, there are a lot of parochial questions (read: individual projects and programs in their area, district allocations, etc) in these hearings. since the agency is also in charge of approving government projects, our people at the public investment and project monitoring usually have a matrix of projects and the congressional district where they are located, just in case the congressmen ask for "his/her" project.

some of them use these parochial questions to call for additional funding for their district which usually end up in grandstanding--and at the end of the tirade, have no question at all. some also end up asking totally nonsensical questions--these usually end up as private jokes between spectators. and there are some who know what they are talking about (or their staff did a good job researching), ask sensible questions and help the agencies do their jobs better. lucky are their constituents, i say.

it is quite different at the senate at the macro hearing. we started at around 10am and end up around noon. this may be due to the fact that there are only 23 senators (22 if you don't count trillianes), and they are all needed during plenary sessions. at the same time, they don't have parochial concerns (except maybe, for their provinces or district of origin, or pet projects), the questions of that ilk are trimmed to a minimum. and (at least in this case), senators have read up (or their staff did their job well), it is not as mind-numbing, tiring or grandstanding-laden.

one particular sponsorship speech i liked during the plenary hearing at the senate was from a lady senator who said that she will only allow the minority floor leader to interpellate (ask questions) the agency she is defending. the others who dare to ask questions would earn her "undying enmity". the senators followed her advise--with the minority floor leaders, who happened to be her co-chair in the said committee, only commenting--and the budget was deemed submitted (or approved at that level). sana sya na lang and nag-defend ng budget namin.

however, the senator who defended our budget (and the budget of the other members of the economic team) was not lacking in skill, despite his age. imagine that he was at it for the last two days (he also delivered the sponsorship speech for the macro assumptions, plus interpellations). astig di ba?

after everything has been approved, the senate and congress comes together and resolves issues on their versions of the budget. when everything has been resolved, it now goes to the chief executive for signature (and by the way, s/he also has the right of line veto--she can strike out parts of the budget), and if s/he does sign it, we now have a budget.

we all work hard for the moolah. and it ain't that easy.

(photo credits: me. this is during one of the lull at the plenary hearing at congress last year. i even got the ire of the sargent-at-arms there, because picture-taking with flash is not allowed at the gallery. i should have turned off the flash.)

Friday, October 19, 2007

shattered dreams



(this is written as i finish a press release here at the office while listening to reports of the blasts that rocked glorietta this afternoon)

(image at left from the Philippine Daily Inquirer website. for more on their coverage of the Glorietta blasts, click here)

i was supposed to have dinner with a friend tonight. but then, the blasts that blown away part of the mall i usually frequent also shattered my plans, after calls from home begging me to cancel.

fast forward to a few hours later: i'm (still) here at the office.

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while viewing the extent of the damage on TV, i bemoan what those responsible did to one of my frequently-visited places

they bombed the part of the mall where children's stores are located. i shudder at the thought that there may possibly be kids spending time with their parents or guardians, buying toys or clothes or food, having a haircut (yep, they have this cute salon for kids), or just horsing around in the play area, oblivious to the evil plans of that someone/s who planted that bomb.

i feel bad for the sales clerks and personnel of the stores damaged by the blasts, who were just there earning a honest living.

they bombed the mall during lunch hour. i also commiserate those who were there to have lunch, relax and get away from the stresses of work even for just an hour.

i empathize to those who lost their lives and were injured (and their families), who were there at the wrong place at the wrong time. i pray for the eternal repose of the souls of those who perished and for the safety and eventual recovery of those injured.

i rage at those who do this, whatever reasons they have. there is no excuse doing something that would harm innocent people.

i am at a loss, even as someone who study politics and international society, on why these things happen. i cry on what the world has come to, a world where violence, poverty and injustice reign. where kids beg on the streets instead of enjoying their childhood. where people lie, cheat and steal to keep body and soul together. where those in power and money abuse what they have. where people like me wonder why these things happen.

suddenly, my anger at those who shattered my plans of enjoying a night out after the stresses of work and graduate school becomes insignificant compared to the shattered dreams in each of us.


Wednesday, September 12, 2007

i should be...

...doing my literature review. as i told vani during one of our email conversations, i'm now enrolled in a research course in graduate school, thus the thesis proposal. while i don't need a thesis to get my degree (but i gotta get the comprehensive exams though), i'm encouraged/pushed by the professor to do well in the said proposal. major pressure--since i haven't even started something, and i need to submit it by saturday.

...reading for the said literature review. i still have three more journals to read. three days to go. panic mode starting to set in. and i have a dinner thing with gradschool buds thursday night. ayush sa procastination!

...on the phone to follow up on a press release. it is close to lunchtime, so i bet there's no one to answer on the other line. will do that by 1pm.

...drinking my anti-allergy medicine and avoiding dust. my ultra-sensitive skin strikes again. last sunday, my skin broke out into rashes that really itched. Mama said it might be the bagoong she added in the ginataang langka during sunday lunch. Papa supposed it might be the dust. the derma said its dust mites--those tiny creepy crawlies that thrive during these times. so apart from the thousand-peso bill for consultations and lotions/soaps, i'm forbidden to use anything scented (read: powder, lotion, perfume, etc), avoid dust and malansa food, and use the recommended soap/lotion. and i gotta be back to the derma next week. (mae, will you forgive me if i miss your graduation fashion show?)

...answering my uncle's email. damned philippine airlines! how can you mess up mabuhay miles credits?!

but instead, i'm...

...blogging. what can i do? this may help me get my mojo.

...thinking of taking a nap. reading + thick journals (made worse by bad lighting. Lord knows i need to get a better night light for reading in the dark) = late nights. late nights + showing up early for work = lack of sleep. but i can't. i mustn't. help!

wish me luck!